I know that if I don't plan, I don't do. Creating a plan is just that for me...creative. It's how I go about attempting to intentionally design the life I want.I consider what I value most, what matters, and then I design my days and weeks and months around goals and steps that are intended to get me there.
The problem (and many of us face this) is that I have lots of responsibilities and only 24 hours to cram them in. On top of this, I'm also supposed to be healthy, have fun, be a good parent, and maintain my marriage. Pretty much every day, something has to give, because I can't be good at every one of my roles every day. I usually feel mediocre at best, and usually, I feel like I'm just scraping by. Even with all my planning, I never seem to find the time.
I know my obsessive planning nature both intrigues and repels him. He wishes I were more carefree. Some days, I suppose I do, too. But, I'm not. My life is about getting stuff done. Setting goals, checking tasks off my list, and being productive. I even have a hard time just sitting down to read or relax. Don't worry, though, I write that sort of thing into my planner as well. Because if I don't...well...you know - - it won't get done.
I'm not one for New Year's resolutions. But this year, in an effort to nurture my need to plan and de-clutter my life and heart. My schedule is too busy. I know that. He feels that. And my son is a product of that. All the things that don't matter seem to take up too much space in my brain and on my calendar. My goal this year is to fill it with things that bring me joy.
I know I can't stop vacuuming or doing the laundry. Some things just have to be done. But, I've been working on minimizing this aspect of my life, not only because it sucks up my energy, but also because it makes me unhappy. I feel tied down by mundane tasks.
Making room in my day for living...and loving...is important.
Imperfectly yours,
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