Multi-focusing, multi-tasking, and realigning the planets

I'm not all the great at multi-tasking, though I do it ALL. THE. TIME. of course. My job demands it. Motherhood demands it. And usually, by 8 pm, I'm so mentally and physically (since I rarely stop moving during my day) that trying to prioritize my marriage is damned near impossible. All I want is a REALLY big glass of wine...a mindless television show or a delicious chapter in whatever book I'm reading at the time...and sleep. Glorious one-tasking sleep.

I teach. Middle school. Three subjects, on of which is writing. I'm on two committees, and I'm the department chair. I also have a nine-year-old boy who is both gifted and extremely challenging to raise. My alarm goes off at 5 a.m. so I have just a bit of time to sip a cup of coffee and write a bit (hence the brevity of my posts) before the madness and chaos of my day begins. I shower, get dressed, make lunches, and run out the door 10 minutes late pretty much every day, no matter how I reorganize my morning routine. Once I get to school, I hit the ground running, and I don't stop until the final bell rings. I usually stay for about an hour to an hour and a half to grade, answer email, plan, etc. Some days my son has sports. Some days I have meetings. Other days, one of us has an appointment. I run errands. Usually, I get home around 5:30...same time as my husband. I help my son on his homework. I clean ONE room, do ONE load of laundry, sweep and deal with clutter, set the table, do the dishes, read to my son, get him to bed, and finally...sit down with a glass of wine about 8 or 8:30.

I share all this in light of yesterday's post. I shared a quote: "It's not about having time; it's about making time. So save the excuses. If it matters, you will MAKE time."

Now, this applies to all areas of my life, not just my marriage, but since I've decided that my marriage comes first, it's time to MAKE time for it. On my schedule, in my planner, as part of my "to do" lists. Basically...this is about cutting the crap, clearing the calendar, and simplifying so I have time for what matters.

Humans may multi-task well (I do), but that doesn't mean it's good for us. Neither is multi-focusing (which I am terrible at). I can usually focus on one thing well...I go through fitness kicks, housekeeping kicks, professional kicks, mothering kicks, etc. I'd call this a marriage kick, but then, that would trivialize something that shouldn't be trivialized. And it's not a kick, anyway. It's a way of life.

I figure, if I'm going to re-prioritize my life at 40, it's a good place to start. I feel like I'm reorganizing the planets and their orbits to make Mars the center instead of the sun. But...if I go through the work it takes to do that, I'm hoping other areas of my life will fall into place around it, in ways that make better sense and are less taxing on my nerves.

I'm going to let these ideas...the prioritizing and the multi-focusing...marinate in my brain a bit and come back to it this weekend. For now, it's 6:10, and I've got a nine-year-old to wrestle out of bed.

Imperfectly yours,